Intentional Conversation: Do We Care Enough to Have One?

"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much." -- Yogi Berra

During a recent networking group meeting we did something a little bit different. So different in fact that it caused a bit of noticeable, albeit temporary discomfort in the room. The facilitator opened the meeting by asking us to talk to each other. Interestingly enough, most of the attendees had been there for several minutes prior to the start and there was a buzz in the room from the many "conversations" already going on. It was normal. It was typical. It felt right. That is until the facilitator asked us to turn to the person next to us and find out "what is your favorite food?"

The question was simple enough and the answer was probably equally as simple, yet there was something just a bit uncomfortable about the request. Although the discomfort level subsided quickly, the whole situation caught my attention. What happened here? I believe it was the request or the expectation to have an intentional conversation that threw things off a bit.

It got me thinking: Has meaningful and intentional conversation become a bit of a lost art? Do we really take the time and effort to really engage with others in a deeper and caring fashion? Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves to check up on the quality of our conversations and our intent for having them.

What do we really know about the people around us? Everybody has a story formed by their background, their family, their hometown, their education, their experiences, their interests, and their outlook. How much time do we spend trying to get that story?

What are their dreams? Is there anyone, anywhere who doesn't have a dream, however faint and deeply buried it may be? Sometimes just the mere suggestion that someone is remotely interested can bring a spark to the eyes and a slight smile to the face. Use yourself as an example. Wouldn't you love the opportunity to share your dreams and desires with someone who cares enough to know what they are?

What are they passionate about? I believe there is a fire that burns within each of us. It may be for a cause, for an idea, for a person, for a place, or even a thing. Much like the faintness of the dream, the embers of that passion may be low or even close to going out, but with the right spark, the flame can come roaring back. Could it be that it just takes a caring and interested person to fan that flame?

What makes their heart sing and their soul cry out? There is a song within each one of us that is waiting to be sung. There's a rhythm. There's a melody. There's a drumbeat. Although it may not be heard by another living soul, the song is there and it is uniquely ours. It makes us who we are and blends our story, our dreams, and our passions into a one-of-a-kind composition that has never previously existed. The song is at the heart of who we are, and although we may have forgotten some of the lyrics or muffled the intensity of its notes, we can be sure it is there. Wouldn't you like to hear it and to share it? Do you think others do, as well?

I truly believe every person longs for a life of meaning and someone to tell about it. What would happen if we became more intentional and more interested in our conversations? What could we learn if we just stopped to listen and engage? Whose life could we touch? Do we care enough to find out?

About the Author: Terry Crouson is the Owner and Head Coach at Silver Coach Solutions, LLC and is currently doing business as The Growth Coach of West Metro Detroit. He is dedicated to helping business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, sales professionals, and self-employed professionals find their way by finding their why. He is a highly respected business coach, speaker, facilitator, and community builder. Terry is certified in the Strategic Mindset Process, and is also a DISC Certified Behavioral Consultant.