Gratitude: 9 Qualities That Spell It Out

Gratitude: The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. -- Oxford Dictionaries

At this time of year, we tend to hear a lot about thankfulness, appreciation, and gratitude. Although, these attributes should be in practice on a daily and year-round basis, it is only natural for us to be more reflective in this Thanksgiving Week. So before we get head-long into the celebration, let's take a moment to reflect on nine qualities that help usher in the spirit and the practice of genuine gratitude.

1. Genuineness: It is hard to truly see gratitude working in our life and in the lives around us if we are not genuine in who we are, what we stand for, and who we stand with. Think of it as the real you; that person who is so easy to lose touch with, but who speaks in a soft voice to often call us back to who we are and hopefully to the unique person we are created to be. The uniqueness of who we are and what we can be is reason enough to be thankful. Are we expressing it?
2. Reflection: How much time do we spend in silent reflection? How often do we get quiet and still enough to step outside of our own thoughts and recognize the presence of others and the role they are playing in our lives. People and events are often part of a bigger picture. How will we ever recognize their real significance or express real appreciation if we don't step back and look at the entire canvas?
3. Awareness: We often hear the term "being in the moment". What does it really mean -- and why is it so difficult to practice? We live in a world of constant distractions. The emergence of social media and its integration into our smart phones has an inevitable pull on our thoughts and our attention span. We agree to go to meetings, classes, and workshops, and somehow cannot resist the temptation to look at our electronic pacifiers. It might be a client, it might be a prospect, it might be.... But, is it? Really? Somehow we think we'll miss something good when the best thing we can be doing is probably right in front of us. Being in the moment is to be aware of your surroundings and what is being said, and not said. What did you do before you had a smart phone? Did you survive and even thrive? It is hard to be thankful for what is right in front of us if we insist on being somewhere else.
4. Tactfulness: It's been said that if the only tool we have in our toolbox is a hammer, then everything, and maybe everyone, looks like a nail. Is pounding the "truth" into someone an effective relationship tool? There is an old story about a wager made between the sun and the wind to see who could make a traveler remove his coat. The wind took the first turn and blew hard and strong until finally he was completely exhausted. As the intensity of the storm and rage increased, it only caused the man to hold on to his coat tighter and tighter. Finally the sun took a turn and with increasing warmth he caused the man to gladly remove his coat. Appreciation will seldom come in response to a beating, but it can be the product of a gentler, more tactful approach.
5. Interest: How much do we know about the people in our circle of influence? How much do we want to know? Often, we are told that if we want to influence people we need to act interested. Why the act? Why can't we actually be interested? An overactive self-focus can blind us to the needs and attributes of others. When the world is all about us, it is difficult to see the uniqueness of others. When we attempt to employ tactics and tools we are spotted for what we really are -- a phony and a hypocrite. Ouch! Think about it for a moment. What type of person do you prefer to talk to -- the well-practiced conversationalist who says all the right things, or the person who may not be quite as smooth but has a genuine interest in you and what you think? Let's stop acting interested and let's be interested. You'll thank yourself -- and so will others.
6. Time: We can always make more money and more things, but we can never make more time. Regardless of the level of wealth we may enjoy, it will never buy us additional time. How we spend our time and who we spend it with is an important signal to what we deem most important. If you want to know what's important to someone, look at the appointments, engagements, or activities that are never missed. This is a time valuation, and people act accordingly. To truly appreciate others and have them in turn appreciate us, we have to invest some of our most precious commodity. Many a person has lain upon a deathbed and questioned the wisdom of where his or her time was spent. Why not show appreciation for our limited time, whatever it may be, by investing it in others. We'll be grateful and so will those in whom we've invested.
7. Understanding: We can't truly relate to someone and fully appreciate all that person has been through unless we have walked the proverbial mile in their shoes. Beyond our level of interest in people lies our capacity and desire to understand them. We are often so quick to want to be heard and to be understood that we tragically overlook the necessity of seeking understanding. Or, as Stephen Covey says, we need to seek to understand before we attempt to be understood. Understanding shows caring and caring is what people want to see in us before revealing their innermost thoughts. We're all thankful for those special friends. Isn't true friendship built on understanding? We know our closest friends, and they know us. Yet somehow, we love each other anyway. Take time to understand.
8. Differentiation: People of gratitude set themselves apart in their attitudes and actions. They appear different because they are different. Thankful people have a certain humility and approach-ability that draws others to them. Thankful people tend to be happier people who smile more often and in turn cause others to smile. Gratitude for the little things helps them to understand and accept the larger blessings that inevitably come their way. Let's not simply be content to act different. Let's resolve to be different and make that differentiation a part of our gratitude legacy.
9. Edification: Grateful people are more likely to lift up others and find the good in them -- and there is good in everyone. Because people who express gratitude are generally happier with themselves they are more likely to see the good in others and acknowledge that good through edification. Everyone likes to be recognized and appreciated for their positive qualities and contributions. Thankful people are comfortable with themselves and are not threatened by the success of others. They are natural encouragers are not afraid to show it. May we say all the good we can, wherever we can, and as often as we can.

How do you spell out gratitude in your own life and in the lives of others? Are you practicing any or all of the nine attributes mentioned here? What would be different if you did? Thank you for taking time to read this article. It is much appreciated.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Author's Note: A special thanks to OldQuotes.com for sharing my quote.

About the Author: Terry Crouson is most thankful to be the Owner and Head Coach at Silver Coach Solutions, LLC and is currently doing business as The Growth Coach of West Metro Detroit. He is dedicated to helping business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, sales professionals, and self-employed professionals find their way by finding their why. He is a highly respected business coach, speaker, facilitator, and community builder. Terry is certified in the Strategic Mindset Process, and is also a DISC Certified Behavioral Consultant.