Nothing to fear but...

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." -- Thomas Paine

Fears: We all have them. We may not want to talk about them, and we may not want to admit it to ourselves or others -- but fear has a real presence in our lives. Of course some of the fears we have are justified and help warn us or protect us from impending danger. The trick is to carefully separate the healthy fears from the unhealthy. Let's define an unhealthy fear as something that is holding us back or in some way preventing us from achieving the goals and dreams we've set for ourselves. Collectively, these fears can form what appears to be an immovable mountain and force us to camp in the valley when our destiny lies on the other side. Over time, we may stop recognizing them as fears and start believing them to be fact.

Faulty assumptions, limited beliefs, past experiences and failures, and those precious sacred cows can cloud our thinking and produce uncertainty, anxiety, and to some degree or another -- fear. The question is; how do we react? Do we come from a place of strength or weakness -- fear or faith? Do we as Thomas Paine says, shrink in mind and heart, or gather strength from our distress?

There is a great scene in the movie, The Replacements in which a team of previously unsuccessful or marginalized football players have a new opportunity to play professional football -- a second chance. When the coach surfaces the subject of "fear", the obvious answers come in the form of spiders, bees, and bugs. That is until the team's leader uses the metaphor of quicksand and how easy it is to get stuck in it. "You're playing", he says. "You think everything is going fine -- and then one thing goes wrong -- and then another, and another. And you try to fight back, but the harder you fight the deeper you sink. Until you can't move, you can't breathe; 'cuz you are in over your head -- like quicksand." Like fear? Sound familiar?

How often have we played on the field of our business or occupation and had a similar experience? How about in our personal lives? In spite of our best efforts, we will have setbacks, failures, and maybe even a few crushing defeats. Fear takes over and suddenly we are shrinking in mind and heart as we feel ourselves sinking in the suffocating quicksand. We may lose our confidence in our decision-making. Worse yet, we may lose trust in ourselves and others. In order to avoid the pain, we stop moving in the direction of our dreams and begin to rationalize our behavior and even tell ourselves a new story. "Maybe climbing isn't for me", we think. "Maybe I'm meant to be a successful camper. Maybe, I'll just stay right here." So, we quit. We may not call it quitting, but a deep search of our heart and conscience reveals otherwise.

Facing down our fears is never easy; if it were, everyone would do it. But, if we're ever going to do or be anything of significance, we need to leave our comfort zones, face our fears, and systematically conquer them. With courage and resolve it can be done. So how do we do it?

1. Admit to our fears and identify each one.
2. Get clarity on exactly what we are afraid of and why.
3. Check the validity of that fear and see it for what it is -- an obstacle to be overcome.
4. Get a clear picture of who we are and what we are when this fear no longer has a grip on us. Use all five senses to bring this new picture into focus.
5. Take one small step in the direction of your fear, and then another, and another. Stay focused on your new picture and watch as it slowly comes to life with each small victory.
6. Celebrate your successes and mark the milestones of your journey over the mountain. Be humble and acknowledge those who have helped and inspired you along the path.
7. Share your story with others. Your journey is not merely about you. It is about the people, perhaps the many people, you will help guide and direct.

Fears: We all have them. The question now is: What will we do about them? Will we "gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection?" Or, will we shrink in our hearts and in our minds. The choice is ours. There is a price to pay for courage, but perhaps an even bigger price to pay for cowardice.

This article can also be found on LinkedIn.

About the Author: Terry Crouson is the Owner and Head Coach at Silver Coach Solutions, LLC and is currently doing business as The Growth Coach of West Metro Detroit. He is dedicated to helping business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, sales professionals, and self-employed professionals find their way by finding their why. He is a highly respected business coach, speaker, facilitator, and community builder. Terry is certified in the Strategic Mindset Process, and is also a DISC Certified Behavioral Consultant.