Managing Our Un-Expectations

The hardest thing about the unexpected is we never know when to expect it. Now that might sound a little bit funny, but is there a ring of truth here? We're often told to expect the unexpected, and we even create contingency plans with at least an educated guess at what could possibly happen -- and a proposed course of action. The problem is, the unexpected we're expecting may not, and from my experience, often does not happen. As a result, we can be thrown off a bit and be forced to alter our plans in terms of time and resources to address what is now the truly unexpected.

I think Julius Caesar was right. Who can really say that they are not at least somewhat thrown off by something they didn't see coming? These occurrences of course have varying degrees of severity and consequences ranging from minor inconveniences to heartbreaking catastrophes. More than likely, our experiences will slide up and down the scale a bit and will hopefully be more on the serious but not life-threatening side.

As business professionals, we definitely need to plan for the unexpected -- if not specifically, at least generally. To be successful in our business or in our career, we need to carefully plan out our goals and objectives, and the strategies or plans we intend to use to achieve them. We also need to make plans to most effectively manage our time, our talents, and our treasure -- or resources. The greater control we have over these important elements, the more likely we'll be successful in what we are undertaking. Could it be this issue or element of control that drives our discomfort in times of uncertainty? I believe it is for me.

By now you've probably guessed that the subject of this article, and the purpose in writing it, comes from my own personal experience -- and it does. In fact it is a series of recent experiences that brought the idea to mind. Now I won't go into all of the experiences and situations that have occurred, but rather I will use them to sort of highlight my own thoughts and processes in navigating through some of these recent experiences.

This brings us back to the issue of control. For me, I believe it is the biggest factor in dealing with the stress and strain of the unexpected. While I don't consider myself a control-freak, I am keenly aware of my need to be in the driver's seat or at least in close proximity of it should the need arise. Okay, maybe I am a control-freak. If I am not careful, this feeling of not being in control of the situation can take me down some roads I neither want or need to go down. It can produce moods, temperaments, and even words that are not only unhelpful, but can have the capacity to cause a greater harm -- and they have. Words are powerful, especially the ones we speak to ourselves.

I chose to be a coach based on the desire for continuous improvement -- starting with myself. I believe there is greatness inside all of us and that each of us was designed for a specific purpose. More to the point, I believe we are happiest and most influential to the world around us when we are operating in our true gift set. The journey of discovery does not happen overnight and there are many unexpected events and even detours along the road. No matter how we design it, a great deal of this journey must be taken alone, with nothing but our thoughts and our faith to guide us. It is in this solitary time of walking, and dealing with the unexpected that our words become most important. The quality of our self-talk can make all the difference between success and failure.

Remember, I am all about the control. Even though my greatest desire is to fix it and fix it now, I have to realize it isn't always possible. In the moment, the only thing I have control over is myself. I like the way Jack Canfield puts it in his book, The Success Principles. He says people have control over only three things in life: “the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.” If this is true, and I suspect it is, it tells me that my thoughts and my library of images have a regulating effect on my words, positive or negative -- and if I want to operate from a positive platform I know what needs to change. As the old saying goes, "what's down in the well, comes up in the bucket." Our job is to work on controlling what's in the well.

I want to continue this discussion in an upcoming article and would like your thoughts and ideas on some of the practical steps you take in dealing with the unexpected. Please feel free to leave them here, or message me. I'd love to include some of them in the follow up.

Also published on LinkedIn

, December 6, 2016

About the Author: Terry Crouson is the Owner and Head Coach at Silver Coach Solutions, LLC and is currently doing business as The Growth Coach of West Metro Detroit. He is dedicated to helping business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, sales professionals, and self-employed professionals find their way by finding their why. He is a highly respected business coach, speaker, facilitator, and community builder. Terry is certified in the Strategic Mindset Process, and is also a DISC Certified Behavioral Consultant.