Is Our Pursuit of Perfection Slowing Our Progress?

When I picked up Carol Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, I was excited to dive in and validate one of my fundamental beliefs -- the presence of a "growth mindset". After all, I am in the coaching business, so if anyone had a growth mindset, it would surely be me -- right? I mean, c'mon, the word "growth" is in the name of my business! There's no way I could be one of those "fixed mindset" folks. Then, right there on page 24 came an interesting question: "When do you feel smart: When you're flawless, or when you're learning?"

Hmm, I thought. I do consider myself to be a learner and I usually have a desire to continue learning. And I desperately wanted to say that I felt smartest when I was in the process of learning, but, I knew that my real answer to the question was: When I am flawless. Gulp! Carol went on to propose that people with a fixed mindset would say: "It's when I don't make any mistakes." Check. "When I finish something fast, and it's perfect." Check. "When something is easy for me, but other people can't do it." Checkmate!

As much as I wanted to think differently, I think this was a fair assessment of how I seem to go about things. Oh, I know that failure is the path to success. I also know that becoming truly proficient in anything, takes time and a fair amount of -- selective learning, i.e., failure. And while I know this to be true, and strive to help my clients embrace this truth, the expectation I have for myself is admittedly somewhat different. I can't help wondering if I'm not alone in this regard. Is our desire to appear flawless, at least to some degree, in some specific area, slowing or in some cases, stopping our intended progress? Be careful before you answer.

Before picking up Carol Dweck's book, I would have said no. It's not that I've wanted or expected to be perfect or flawless -- at least not consciously. Because, I know it's not possible. But I do have to admit that at some deeper, perhaps subconscious level, I may be allowing that ideal to influence how far I'm willing to go, and how much I'm willing to risk to "feel smart". The question I am now considering is: How many good things have I quit or turned away from in order to risk my feeling of smartness and allow it to be replaced with a less comfortable season of learning? I might ask you that same question.

I'm going to leave this discussion right here and invite you, if you haven't done so, to read Mindset -- The New Psychology of Success. Discover for yourself whether you are operating in a fixed or a growth mindset. By the way, the subtitle is How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential. I believe the operative word is, "learn" -- as in grow, risk, and stretch ourselves past the need to be flawless -- and find the personal freedom to make progress.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

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